Fucking a neighbor
My Neighbor emailed me at 4am on Saturday, clearly at the end of a drunk spell. She apologized for her behavior in July, decided that she didn't want to never talk to me again, told me that we should be friends, and was generally contrite.
I told her to meet me for dinner at Mermaid Inn for some fish. She agreed and was waiting at the bar when I got there.
We sit, catch up on the last several weeks, and talk about our respective life situations. I tell her about the misadventures with July 4, the text message ending that non-relationship, and that I'm not in a place to be available to most women for anything other than a romp or two. Same thing I told her when she asked if I could ever have a relationship with her. When I point out that July 4 was 38, she asks "why are you sleeping with 38 year olds when you could have 25 year olds?" It's clearly on. Make clear that I'm not relationship-ready right now.
Finish dinner, stoop sit for a bit, upstairs to my apartment for her to give me a massage. Which leads to kissing, inevitably, and a handjob. I start exploring, discover wetness, and as ever, one thing leads to another. Her on top of me, and an embarrassing minute later, it's over. I laugh at myself - "I owe you one" I tell her as I roll over and pass out.
Morning comes, alarm set for 8 am. Up at 6:30 with her arms around me, a way I don't sleep unless I'm emotionally invested. I am not incredibly into this. Awake and alert now, so I may as well enjoy myself. Legs slung over my shoulders for 10 minutes, on her stomach for awhile, and then rolling behind her. Now it's 7:15 and I'm actually looking at the clock to make sure I've been going for more than a minute. She finally tires of my antics and we roll me onto my back, her sitting on top of me and giving me my favorite view. She's clearly done her kegels, I can feel that through the condom. Minutes later, it's over. "If you'd've done that last night, I'd've been able to sleep" she teases me. Roll over for more sleep.
She slings her arms around me and I'm not having any of that. "You're going to have to deal with that" she tells me. "No, I'm not" I say in my best 'bad puppy' voice. She retreats to her side of the bed and promptly passes out. The alarm wakes us both, and she walks to the shower, cleaning off last night, and out to work. I shake my head at myself wondering why I've done this again. Let her out and lock the door behind her. "Talk to you soon" and she's on her way.
I scratched the "belt notching" itch many notches ago. For awhile I was approaching women because it was fun and scary in and of itself, as an unintegrated part of my life. That served me well enough - I met the girl from reunion that way, and a few others, although nobody who lasted. Chet's been telling me that I need to start applying a filter to the women I meet, that I'm "punching below my weight." In some instances, like last night, I think he's right. Clearly, in others, he's wrong.
I need to learn to say "NO" and mean it.