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Approach anxiety kicks my ass or - what happened here?

I don't even know what hit me tonight. Went out at midnight. Local bar as usual. Not drinking liquor, so I hang out and have club soda, which they pour for me all night. As I'm not getting any more drunk, my anxiety about talking to new people is staying at the same levels, perhaps going up, but mainly, I'm actually out to listen to the DJ.

Hours pass, the DJ does his thing and brings the absolute magic that he brings.

A girl that I'd met earlier, while watching the Yankees game at another bar, spots me and comes around the bar, sits next to me and starts writhing to the music and talking to me. We chat for about 45 minutes before she gets up to go to the bathroom.

Two minutes after she gets up, a second, absolutely stunning woman walks up to me. I've had my eye on her all night but I've stalled out every time she's walked by, and she's walked by a lot. She saunters up to me, looks me in the eye and says "are you gay?"
"No."
"Oh. Ok." And then she scampers off.

I don't follow, clearly.

Thirty seconds later, she's back.
"Are you bored?"
"No, I'm having a good time, how about you?" Suddenly, she got huffy.
"Whatever." She left the bar.

Her friend, who looked like she was about to hook up with a friend of mine, instead gives him a hug and leaves.

I keep sipping my club soda. Tell the girl who was talking to me about it, and she tells me that girls are weird sometimes. We have an excellent rapidly deepening conversation.

At the end of which she says "I really like you, you're fun." And then she gets shy. "But here's the thing. I'm sorta seeing the bartender. I don't want it to get weird." As the bartender is a guy I like and hang out with outside of work, the needle, obviously, comes off the record.

So my question is - which one of the gods did I piss of that I get the beautiful woman I've had my eye on to come talk to me, only to be called gay and boring, while the other cute girl that spent an hour talking to me, for whom I didn't pursue the beautiful one, is dating my friend. Seriously. Who'd I piss off?

I have to stop being shy around new people. This "approach anxiety" thing is pissing me off.

There's more to this story involving a gaggle of guys that looked like a cross between the Entourage posse and rejects from The PickUp Artist who were sort of the anti-me, who were the reason that both of the girls came to talk to me, a six foot five guy with a strange nickname, and staying out until 5am trying to figure out how to talk to new people. But mainly I'm wondering who the god of decision making is, because clearly I pissed her off.

Comments

Now that's an icebreaker... are you gay?

Posted by: fo4 | September 16, 2007 1:45 PM

Seriously, fo4 - that was the weirdest line =ever=. And if she'd stayed for more than 5 seconds, I would have been thrilled to talk to her and flirt with her etc.

The god I was thinking of, by the bay, is Janus.

Posted by: Bad Man | September 16, 2007 7:09 PM

My bet is, had you said yes she would have sat down to talk. You've seen it; some women are more comfortable surrounding themselves with gay men. They get continuous affirmation without competition but to come out and ask that question and not hang around is bizarre.

Posted by: fo4 | September 17, 2007 4:59 PM

My bet is that if I said anything other than a stupid stuttering "yeah" or "Huh" it would have been on. Instead, I didn't take the opportunity because I thought I was taking it with the other one.

These things happen.

I think the "are you gay" question translates to "I've been doing girly things in your general direction all night and all but throwing myself at you and you've ignored me. What the hell, nobody puts baby in the corner, NOBODY."

Posted by: Bad Man | September 17, 2007 5:09 PM

I know for me when I see a guy in a bar I find attractive and that's not with a group of guys it's definitely a more appealing situation, but at the same time I still get butterflies. Approaching someone the only reason you really want to speak to initially because you think they are hot is intimidating as hell. However it's healthy to have that rush, feeling myself blush, my words maybe rushed together. Blah what I'm trying to say so eloquently...girls are just as nervous as guys, but I think it's a good thing, it's just one of the many ways of feeling really alive.

Posted by: thelegirl | September 17, 2007 8:36 PM

What the hell, nobody puts baby in the corner, NOBODY."


I think that's it exactly!

Posted by: blush | September 19, 2007 3:06 PM

For a second there, I thought it might have been her, but then I saw the pictures, and this was clearly someone else. A shame, I'd love to have had a drive by by a celebublogger.

Posted by: bad man | September 20, 2007 1:48 PM

Then maybe that's where she got it from. It doesn't sound like she delivered it very well, like a pickup line you read on the web and have no idea how it's really supposed to be said, so you try it and it bombs.

Now I can't wait for some girl to try that on me, so I can bust her on it. He he.

Posted by: David | September 21, 2007 4:38 AM

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