A Bad Man in a Bad Place

Go ahead. Delurk. Say hello. I've noticed not so many comments, but a steady stream of hits from around the world and I would like to hear from you.

Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBacks (0)

The Daily Mail reports on something or other, I lost track of the article when I saw Maggie Gyllenhaal tied up like this. (Via Mistress Matisse)

Permalink | Comments (0)

For all you men out there wondering "should I approach her?" here's one for you. Via Venus's 100 things about herself:

10. If I am giving you “the look” one of three things is happening. One, I think you are an idiot, two, I am mad as hell, or three, I am extremely attracted to you and am frozen.

Good luck, boys.

Permalink | Comments (1)

I keep forgetting to mention - Z is a sexy literary genius.

That is all.

Permalink | Comments (2)

I've had some free time lately, so I've been doing a bit of reading. Here are sites that I am pleased to welcome to my blogroll.

Puppy Tales - Spotted by M. H. - an excellent view and very hot from the bottom.
An Insecure Dominant - Brand new blog from a dominant man.
A View from the Floor - I think that the image on the top of this blog is indescribably hot. I haven't had a chance to delve in much yet, but I'm looking forward to it.
Bound to get into trouble - Another sub with a penchant for writing. I like the style here.
kitten's Master - I haven't had a chance to dive as deeply into this one as I'd like, but I appreciate his perspective and plan to read more.
Naked Truth - I had a chat with Zephyrine the other day and have been digging into her archives. She was very wise and gave me sage advice for dealing with certain issues I've got right now.
College Callgirl - I'm fascinated with sex workers and sex work. I've never paid for time with one, but have had some friends who are or were. This one is well written and worth a look.
Kinkerbelle - appears to be for S&M what Just One Bite used to be for polyamorous perversity.
Bad Bad Girl - Possibly the best URL on the internet.
The Lustful Quality of Watching Her Erotic Demise - A kindred spirit and an excellent writer.
A Controlled Girl - As the title implies.

Permalink | Comments (2)

What a difference an afternoon can make.

Two things happened that have cheered me up.

The first - M.H. left me a link to Puppy Tale, which is fantastic and a pleasure to read. Thanks M.H.

The second was getting together, quite unexpectedly, with Princess. (For background on Princess, see here, here, and here) We caught up on things - her boyfriend, why my last relationship fell apart, our lives generally. I remembered tying her up for the first time, briefly, and smiled that I brought that into her life.

Princess was the first girl who introduced breath play into my life. Her arms were tied behind her, she was straddling me and riding me for all she was worth, and she looked down at me and said something like "choke me." At first I wasn't prepared to do it, but a few seconds later I was. And I liked it. And so did she.

Trouble is, it was addictive. I wanted to do it again, and some of the women I've met have been into it, others, less so. What I've realized lately is that I can't deny my nature. I want to do certain things. When I haven't been able to do them (as with certain exes) it created a hole in me that I filled with things that aren't so good for me - drinking, for example, tamps down the desires that I've got. So. To indulge myself, instead of the alternative of fucking the random women that I find just because they're beautiful and begging for it. It's my life, I'll use myself any way I want to.

Now, I'm not Deity, as I haven't taken these choices to their logical and fullest conclusion. But it is my fervent hope to do so someday.

Permalink | Comments (2)

Future, who I met a few times a few years ago and have great respect for, has a fantastic post on why having a large set of balls is good for you. Money grafs:

The next day, she would tell me over the phone as I sped away from Los Angeles, "I'm so glad you followed through. You're not the first guy to yell at me in a lobby or even get into the elevator. But for most guys, that's where it ends. You followed through and just got better and better and better. It was pretty impressive."

To which I replied, "Wow. You just paid me a serious compliment! You seriously like me! Damn. That was a really serious admission. You are like, WAY into me, you fucking stalker!"

Permalink | Comments (0)

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #94? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks

Mr. Sugasm Himself

Editor’s Choice

Erotic Writing and Experiences

Sex Audio & Podcasts

NSFW Pics & Videos

Sex Work

BDSM & Fetish

Sex News & Reviews

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships

Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Two very hot women making love to the camera, but it appears, not each other. Despite that, this Raven Riley and Liz Vicious Gallery is very hot. I like the juxtaposition of the two skin tones, Liz's pale and almost translucent skin with Raven's darker Southern California skin. What's strange is that they don't look like they're having any fun. Two hot women, hot poses, sex with the camera and possibly the viewer with their eyes, no fun at all.

Permalink | Comments (0)

Adriana's Secret is back. That makes me very happy - she was always incredibly sexy. Not that there's a dearth of sexy women on the net, it's just that I like what I like. New players like Kinkerbelle are hot (VERY hot), but I miss some of the women I remember who are gone now - Dirty Whore (Eden) is totally gone, Sex Kitten seems to be on hiatus, and even Dirty Talkin' Girl hasn't posted since July. Come on ladies - I'm back after what, two years away? Maybe you should come back too...

Permalink | Comments (1)

Thanks to both Fleshbot (and more to the point, Chelsea Girl) and Viviane's sex carnival for linking to me and more particularly this post. If you're new here, please feel free to take a look around, I hope you enjoy it.

--Bad Man

Permalink | Comments (0)

• Lifty's
  Not safe for work. Also? False advertising. On the part of the user. Interesting, though.
  (tags: sex Sexy breasts)
• Confessions of an English Gentleman: Looking, being looked at
  Thoughts on looking at submissive women.
  (tags: Blog blogs bdsm NSFW)

Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

• A London Ebony Escort Blog
  (tags: adult blogs escort)

Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

• Least I Could Do
  A Web Comic detailing the life of... well... it's worth reading.
  (tags: adult blogs Sexy women webcomic humor webcomics)
• A Brooklyn Bachelor
  (tags: blogs brooklyn newyork nyc)

Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Hot post over Easily Aroused - reflections of an ovesexed Englishman

As longtime readers (and I hear you breathing out there... ) know, when I don't have much to say, I post links. So - I post links.

Permalink | Comments (0)

I've been off rereading April and May of 2004. The archives here are rich with content. I'm sorry that the old comments got deleted, I had some very thoughtful readers back in the day - Jagg, Rob (who is back), Frank, Eden and others. I'm pleased to report that I've got some new (and some returning) commenters now. If you're lurking, feel free to delurk - this place is often as much a conversation as it is my soapbox.

I've got a boatload of work to do today so I'm not going to be able to post about last night any time soon. Having said that - comments are open for your pleasure.

Open Thread topic - take a walk down memory lane and report on your favorite hooking up experience.

Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Over at her own blog, Matisse recently linked to an older post of hers - a lengthy post about meeting women.

Money:

So you’ve gotten the okay, I’ll talk to you signal from her. Here are some other ways to avoid being kicked back to creepy weirdo status: do not ask her name for at least five minutes. Do not ask her last name, period. Do not ask where she lives, or where she works, or any other potential-stalker information. Basically, don't a lot of personal questions.

There's a lot there. Go read.

Permalink | Comments (0)

I've been reading and rather enjoying Kinkerbelle's site lately. Added to the blogroll.

Permalink | Comments (0)

My new favorite Flickr Feed via River City Kitty

Permalink | Comments (0)

Lola noticed me being back after all this time. Hi Lola!

Permalink | Comments (0)

All of you - say hello to Jess who was kind enough to link to this site.

That makes two sites - Jess and Lex. Who's next?

Permalink | Comments (1)

Chris Abraham hosts a discussion on why women date older men. Commenter Teresa says

I'm young and considered gorgeous. The only reason I date older men is because they have a bigger bank accounts! The YOUNG men are the ones we really want because they LOOK better then the old farts. Men are just plain stupid to think were there because of how wonderful they are.

Which really amounts to "we're all prostitutes, we just like to pretend we're not." I don't believe that this is true (which is why I filter women out who expect me to buy the first dinner, all of the drinks, etc) but I can't but acknowledge that it exists.

What's interesting is that this reaction was to a woman writing, of the older men side of the equation:

Men date younger women because they are weak and stupid. They prefer their equals to their superiors, intelectually and emotionally. It has nothing to do with body or commitment issues or any other excuse they want to give. It is sheer weakness.

Which sounds like a spurned first wife to me. I have a lot of thoughts on this issue, but for the moment I'll open the floor to you with one note - I've dated older women and younger women. I won't share my preference just yet, I'm curious to see what you all have to say.

Permalink | Comments (1)

I see that Sir Italian tried starting over too.

It's hard, right?

You change in those years you spend together. You change as a person, your desires change, your skills change. You become part of a different community and on and on and on.

And you don't, or at least I don't, want to go back to being exactly who I was before I left. That's stepping backwards, not forwards. Learn from what happened, yes? Don't get trapped in the past.

Battling back is hard, though. And so is the letting go. I get wistful, a bit, wishing things had turned out differently. That it could have worked, happily ever after and all that.

But it didn't. So we begin again.

Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

My only regret in opening my Emigrant Direct account is that I didn't do it sooner.

I now have several thousand dollars in there.

I also have direct deposit going in there.

Man.

The two day waiting period before I can take money out of there? It's a damn GOOD thing - it means that I can't just frivolously spend that money. I mean, I can, but I won't.

Also, since I started using the Hipster PDA, I've been tracking my finances the old fashioned way - collecting receipts and writing everything on the back of a 3x5 index card. My next step is to start adding everything to quicken at the end of the week each week, so I can see where my inflows and outflows are and start plugging these holes.

I owe it all to Ramit . Somehow, his website has inspired me to start managing my wealth (I spend around $30 a day in useless shit I could otherwise be keeping for myself. $30! That's only weekdays, but still, that amounts to a new 17 inch powerbook every 5 months. Talk about a leaky ship. That's just cabs and coffee - I can take public transportation (or walk, or subway) which is a little more difficult but puts me out in the world exposed to other people - not a bad thing. And my firm provides (kinda nasty) coffee, but I've also started working out and trying to get healthier to get rid of my paunch (I'm not fat, I just have an extra inch around my gut from dairy and laziness) and I'm in full life renovation mode.

Must be Spring.

It's time.

I'm 30.

Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Added Chris Abraham to the blogroll. Welcome, Chris.

Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage Will Ruin Society is pure genius. Snip:

Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

It's funny - I was asking one of my friends about this just the other day, just after the New York courts held that there isn't a legal right to gay marriage (but also held that there COULD be one, the legislature just hasn't gotten there yet). She's bi and dating a woman right now, and we've had discussions on this subject before - I just don't understand what the big deal is. If a man wants to marry another man, why not let them? Ditto women?

Ryan Sanger pointed out that it's entirely possible for the legislature to do it. I think they should.

Hat tip: Metafilter

Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

But there are scientific reasons why men fall asleep after sex.

By David Wilkes, Daily Mail
17 February 2005

The gentle buzz of snoring is among the most annoying sounds known to woman.
Especially when it happens shortly after a passionate encounter.

Yesterday scientists explained exactly why it is that men have a tendency to nod off after making love.

Apparently, it's nothing to do with wanting to avoid a cosy chat with their partner. According to the scientists, they are simply tired out.

'As frustrating as it is for most women that their male partners just roll over and fall asleep after sex, men aren't entirely to blame,' said Dr Neil Stanley, director of sleep at the University of Surrey.

'Humans are the only animals in which sleep and sex are linked and while often seen as just a poor excuse, there are scientific reasons why men feel tired after sex.

'The blood rush after climax depletes the muscles of energy-producing glycogen, leaving men feeling physically drained.

'Because they have more muscle mass than women, men become tired after sex and this subsequently leads to them feeling sleepy.'

Eighty per cent of men said they felt more relaxed and were able to drift off without any problems after making love, compared with 46 per cent of women.

They were among 10,000 adults surveyed by organisers of The Vitality Show, Europe's largest health and beauty exhibition.

Birmingham was found to have the highest number of men who fall asleep after sex.

Men in the city managed on average to stay awake for just three to four minutes, according to the survey.

In Glasgow and Liverpool, meanwhile, men claimed to take up to 20 minutes before falling asleep.

For women unwilling to relocate there, however, Dr Stanley offered some tips on keeping men awake long enough for a cuddle and chat.

'Have sex out of the bedroom, away from the usual sleeping environment, or play uplifting music - not the usual romantic sounds,' he suggested.

'Try I Feel Good by James Brown, Elvis Presley's A Little Less Conversation or Britney Spears's Toxic.'

Dr Stanley also recommends his patients to 'talk sex'. 'There is no better time to communicate with one another than after a mutually gratifying sexual experience.

'Discuss all the things you enjoyed and found arousing, try to avoid talking about the negatives,' he said.

He suggested the more adventurous could videotape their lovemaking sessions - so they have something to watch afterwards.

Not everyone nods off after sex. The survey found 48 per cent of men had actually fallen asleep during the act itself.

A mere 11 per cent of women admitted being guilty of this.

Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Study: the Pill Changes Women's Taste in Men. I don't know why I find this odd, but I do.

LONDON (Agence de Presse Medicale) - Scientists reported on Wednesday a remarkable new side effect of the Pill -- it changes women's preference in men.

Psychologists at the University of St. Andrews in Scotland asked 1570 young women on oral contraceptives and 1325 women who were not, to choose between healthy and less healthy male faces. The same face was presented twice, one image glowing with apparent health, the other looking pale and unwell.

All women preferred the healthier face on average but those on the Pill were significantly more choosy. "Women using oral contraceptives expressed stronger attraction to apparent health than women not using oral contraceptives," the researchers reported in the Proceedings of the Royal Society.

The team, led by Ben Jones and David Perrett, also found in other studies that women's preference for apparently healthy faces was stronger during the post-ovulation phase of the menstrual cycle and during pregnancy.

"Collectively, these findings suggest that increased attraction to apparent health in faces coincides with conditions that are characterized by raised progesterone levels, rather than conditions that are characterized by high fertility," they said.

Women, they suggested, may have evolved strategies -- triggered by raised progesterone levels -- to reduce the risk of infection disrupting development of the unborn baby when their immune system is weaker than normal.

Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

With Valentine's day coming, you can cook for perfect strangers and have them fall in love with you. Or so says the New York Times. Then again, they're the folks with the Jayson Blair scandal, so you may want to stick to the old standbys of flirting, not being a dumbass, and being a man.

As one guy said - "so, let me get this straight. You're a man. You were designed to kill lions and climb mountains, and you think you'll attract a woman with Spaghetti?"

When I saw Athena the other night, we talked about my prediliction for not buying women dinner until we are "seriously dating." I'm firmly in the don't-buy-things-for-women-I-am-not-fully-attached-to school. I believe it's bribery. If I wanted to bribe someone to spend time with me, I'd hire an escort, and then it wouldn't be a bribe, it'd be business.

UPDATE: The comments are getting interesting. When Jeremy took issue with what I wrote, saying:

Ah, jeez. Dude, you're ALWAYS paying for it, pally. ALWAYS. Whether you're pulling out a chair, being the one to call first or getting married. In some way or other, you're a john. And you're not designed to kill lions. You're designed to hunt in packs and give girls meat. Really. Check it out. Even male chimpanzees give female chimpanzees (our closest relative) gifts of particularly tasty spider dead monkeys in order to mate. The fact is that a date is an audition to be a provider. The fact that women can now provide for themselves is beyond the point, we're evolutionarily primed to be the provider. And sometimes that means cooking.

Check out Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain. Chefs get more tail than anyone alive. And it even gets my WIFE in bed with me. And for a longtime married guy, it's quite a feat.

What the article was about, however, was making dinner as a first date, which I find to be an awful lot. How do I know that the person I'm making dinner for is worth spending time with? That's why my first dates are tea/coffee/a drink or two.

I reserve things like paying for things and making meals for women that I've already decided I'm going to take a chance on. It smacks of showing off and trying to "win" someone's affection, which is a weird framework to look at the world. "Hey, I can cook - aren't you impressed with my wonderfulness? Pay attention to me!!" The whole idea of "winning" someone's attention suggests that somehow they have something you want and you have nothing they want. I don't believe that.

I think that people who go out of their way to propitiate women on early dates view women as a "prize" - they aren't a prize. They're just people.
--------

Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)