A Bad Man in a Bad Place

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In the comments to the last post, Cassie asks:

Yay! Finally a post that doesn’t involve a bunch of whingey whiney crap about pseudonymity and outing and ‘what does this blog mean’ the way you talk about anonymity makes it sound like you very well might be Brad Pitt, living some kind of secret life away from Angelina and the kids. Why are you sooooo worried? the question im asking is who are you so worried about being outed to?

[my god, are you secretly Mayor Bloomberg or something?]

In the immortal words of Michael Keaton, I’m Batman.

Kidding, obviously. Pseudonymity was a big issue for me last year for several reasons.

1. The sex life that I write about here is graphic, and not particularly vanilla. I was less concerned when I was just a pickup blogger. When I started to delve into the sex aspects, then BDSM, I was (and remain) concerned about people’s reactions. It’s still a Puritan country over here. Well, more Victorian than Puritan, but still.
2. I have a career to think about - I’m reasonably successful at my day job and would like to stay that way.
3. I want to eventually get married and have kids and do all of that sort of thing and it does impinge on my ability to date when women come in some way other than the blog and find out not only am I a sex blogger, but I’m also THIS sex blogger
4. I’m at a new grad school and their image of me is not one that involves my being a Lothario
5. One of my classmates, upon my mention of knowing several people in the adult industry said “I know you do. I know who you are.” I’m pretty sure he was sleeping with another sex blogger at the time, but I’m not positive.
6. There was some serious drama in the sex blogging community at the beginning of this year that I was part of by extension, and I don’t want my real identity being associated with that kind of stupidity.
7. I watched what happened to Abby Lee and most recently saw her article on being done with British men because either they are afraid to date the mysterious Girl or they WANT to date the mysterious Girl and either way is a less than ideal way to meet someone.
8. I also wrote a paper on the subject for school.

So there are my reasons. And I’m not Batman. I’m Elliot Spitzer.

No, I’m not him either.

And while I’d like to say “in other news” and have there be some other news, outside of last nights proffered cheek, I got nothin’. But do say hi. The fact that Cassie and Lili said hi already made me smile.

Top ten reasons I’ve come back:

1. The outside chance that I’ll find an intern who wants to both take dictation and suck dick (not to mention do it all whilst leashed)
2. I have a disturbingly compelling writing habit
3. As Axe found out on the other side of the axis, it’s not easy finding deviant women
4. My therapist pointed out that I’m a writer and I don’t have a choice but to write, and that there are far worse compulsions to have
5. I have extremely attractive submissive readers who like to send me naked pictures of themselves. This always makes my day. (HINT HINT)
6. There just aren’t very many male adult bloggers out there, so I need to represent
7. I’m in a Bad Place again - I’ve started dating but I keep having interview-dates, where you sit and talk and “get to know each other” which really means resume examination. Yuck.
8. When I get confused by life I blog about it and it helps me sort things out
9. It’s summer and skirts are short and my hormones are running riot and
10. I missed you guys.

So. I’m back. I left before because I’d run out of things to say, not because I hated you or missed you or anything. But do join the conversation. Read the archives and comment on them. I’m just glad to see you here.

And to answer the inevitable questions, yes, I’ve tried several of the online dating sites and haven’t been particularly taken with the women I’ve seen there. I’m meeting women through friends, at parties, on the street, etc etc etc and it’s just taking some time to get my dating-legs back.

Also, I’m available for freelance web gigs, and creative strategy gigs, and to run your porn sites. It’s been a pretty quite summer work-wise, so what the heck. Email me if you’ve got anything.