September 30, 2004

I will be moving soon.

I will be moving soon.

Not yet though.

It's official - I paid for a year in advance, out of pocket, I registered and everything.

I'm moving to http://www.badmanbadplace.com/.

DON'T UPDATE YOUR BOOKMARKS YET!!!

Because I'll still be posting here.

Why?

Because I lack a design.

I've looked into professional designs, and I've had a brief consultation with one of my readers who I'm still looking at using.

However - I, as a raging capitalist, believe in doing things right, and doing them for pay. Further, I believe in competition. SO:

I'm holding a blog design contest. Several may enter, one will win.

First prize: $250, bragging rights, and a link to your site from mine. (note: $250 is what the designers at Moxie charge, I think that's a good price... theirs comes with two designs, a button, and plugins, so yours probably should too...)

Second prize(s): If any of the designs are really good, I may use them as skins. $20 for anyone whose design I end up using as a skin.

The blog will be a movable type 3.11 blog. Entries should include design for index page, category page(s), comments, and trackback pages.

Enter as many times as you like.

Elements of the page are what you see here on this blog. Possibly a few more side column entries.

All judging is done by me. I am the sole and final arbiter of all things related to this contest. If none of the designs are what I want, none win.

Feel free to email me with questions or to bounce ideas off of me.
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September 28, 2004

Sunday saw me at the

Sunday saw me at the office at 10 in the morning. I spent the whole day there, finishing my project at 10 in the evening. I felt that I'd earned a drink or twelve, so it was off to Carnaval to visit The Beauty, and to have a few drinks, before puttering home, since I had to be at work again by 9:30 the next morning.

When I walked in, the bouncer didn't recognize me, apparently, I've been away awhile. I'm also not a pretty girl, which means that bouncers frequently forget me.

When I got there The Beauty asked how things were going, and, after a quick check of my personal life, I told her the truth. "Awesome." She was surprised, since I generally come there to commiserate with her about how bad things are for both of us.

I spent five minutes trying to remember the name of my drink for the night (Cuervo? No. Cerveza? No. Courvoisier? No. Corona? Oh yeah) which basically told me that not only was I burned out, but that I needed many, many drinks.

After 15 minutes, the shots of Momojuana started coming out, and things started to turn more entertaining.

Carnaval on a Sunday night is a mix of beautiful women, guys who can dance to Latin music, a set of live drummers, The Beauty, a bouncer, a manager, maybe another bartender, and me. I'm always amazed that on Sunday night at Midnight, there are so many beautiful women out.

As the night progressed, The Beauty introduced me to another bartender that works there, who had tattoos out to there, and was much more friendly to me than I was to her. She tried engaging me in conversation, but I was essentially brain dead. I nursed my beers, had some Momojuana, and mumbled, vaguely coherently, about myself.

At one point, The Beauty looked at the other bartender, who seemed confused as to why she thought I was an ok guy, and said "you don't understand. He's quiet, but he's just... he's got this thing. He's the coolest guy you could ever want to meet, but he's not like us, he's got a job, he's got it all. If I were going to get married, I want to marry him." The other bartender was floored. My jaw met her on the floor.

When I met The Beauty in 1999, I developed an instant crush on her. It only grew as I got to know her. We hooked up a few times, and after we did, she told me she did it so that I would chill out around her. It worked, although the crush remains. Different kind of crush now, though. A mutual admiration society thing.

A little while later, a new group of girls showed up, each cuter than the last. I kept my head down, facing my drink, almost hiding in a plant. I was out to drink, not to meet girls, and my head was pounding from a project that wouldn't die.

I stepped away to use the bathroom, and on my return, my head had mysteriously cleared itself up. Must've been fate. Or pissing out the bad karma. Or the booze.

I drank some more, was introduced to the ladies, and the rest of the night starts to blur.

At one point, I was caught grinding between X, the tall, thin, beautiful black girl, and her friend whose name I never caught, who spoke with a French accent, was a little shorter, white, and had curves built for pleasure and speed. Well, I'd been grinding on X when she rolled into the fray. There were typical scenes with some other guy trying to get in her face to try to take her home, X and The Beauty flashing their boobs at each other, and the original tatooed girl making out with another similarly tatooed girl. And then, at a certain point, the music was going, and I was grinding with X, and I leaned down and kissed her. She grabbed my ass and pulled me closer, and I grabbed her hair and pulled it just above the nape of her neck. We got very passionate for about five minutes, when her friends came and dragged her away.

As the night wound down, I checked my Blackberry only to discover that it was 3:30. So much for a few drinks and then bed. Figuring that I'd leave, I started to make my excuses and blow air kisses at The Beauty. Obviously, the Universe was again toying with me because a sorta creepy guy started talking to The Beauty. "Hey pretty lady, thank you. Thank you for the drinks tonight. You're very pretty." She rolled her eyes at me, giving me girl code for "don't you dare leave me with this scary dude" and asked if I'd stay through closing. And after.

She gave me another beer and some more Momojuana. I stood under one of the plants again. Four o'clock, and the bouncer started to throw people out, but he ignored me. Four fifteen, and X came back and said "So when am I going to see you again?"
"I don't know, I'm here on Sundays."
"You'll need my number."
"Ok..." I pulled out my cell phone to give it to her. I had planned to take her picture, get her number, and put the two things together so I'd remember her. Obviously that would have been too smooth, so the Universe decided that my phone should be out of juice instead.

I pulled out my blackberry and got her number. And the first letter of her name. I have no idea what her name is to this day. I promised I'd call. Which I did.

UPDATE: Rugby, whom you may remember as one of my few remaining guy friends, moved to San Diego, and in a fit of memory upheaval, I remembered going to Carnaval with him back in July, while he was still living here.

That night, as usual, the bar was full of beautiful girls, and one of them walked up to him and asked after me. That much I remembered. More than that was a blur.

I called Rugby via my powerbook's voice conference program tonight. Asked him about that girl. He remembered her. Which surprised me, somewhat, but then when he described her... "Yeah, she was a totally beautiful, tall black girl."
"Did she have an afro?"
"Yeah. It was huge" apparently, she made an impression on him.
It seems this story didn't just begin on Sunday.
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I called the number that

I called the number that had been forced on me on Sunday. I'd danced and made out with the girl, and stayed out with her until 5 in the morning.

"Hi, is this X?" I asked.
"Yeah, who's this?"
"It's Bad Man. You forced your number onto my Blackberry."
"Uhhh..."
"You're drawing a blank here, aren't you?"
"Yeah, I am."
"Figured."
"I was drinking Momojuana..."
"I know, I was there. We were doing shots."
"Wow. You're the second person who's called me from that night."
"Nice."
"We should get together."
"So you can figure out who this is."
"Yeah."
"Fair enough. I'll be back next Sunday. If I'm not going to be there, I'll call you and we'll have to do something else."
"Sounds good. Call me."

Apparently, I'm rusty at this.

Mind you - I had a coffee date at lunch today, and am emailing with an Israeli documentarian, but still, I'm feeling rusty. And a bit shaken up by that call. I can't remember the last time I had such an unsuccessful phone call follow-up.

I'm back in the game, though. After some time away, I'm back.

My goals have changed a bit, though. I think I'm in the market for a girlfriend. Or two.

UPDATE: Moxie asks

Why do you make it sound like you're recovering from some bad break-up? You've been "out of the game" for a few weeks, not months. And presumably just because you've been busy at work, unless there's more to it than that and you just haven't said. You've written months worth of stories of sex and dates and meet-ups and dinners and drinks, etc. and offered to mentor some 17 year old college kid a la Roger Dodger...so what's with the hands-in-the-pocket, shaky legs stuff? Why all the drama?
She raises a good point.

I've been out for about a month and a half, and before that, I was getting comfortable with not seeing anyone other than Princess. Not that she and I were dating seriously, but we'd started seeing each other, and it was pretty chill.

I then put all my energy into my job for a month. Wake up, work, sleep, repeat. More happened than just work - nothing bad - I just got spooked for a little bit by things out of my past turning up. It's all passed now.

I thrust myself back at meeting people for the first time, and, while it's just like riding a bike, nobody remembers that when you go back to a bike after a long time away, the first time you get back on is a little bit wobbly. Not so much so that you'd have a problem, but enough that you notice a little. You get that "woah" feeling in your stomach as the bike moves around under you briefly. It passes after a few minutes, but it's a bit scary.

Remember too that part of the reason I have this blog is that I was once a very shy person, and I suffered from Beautyphobia. This blog is, in part, therapeutic for me. Sometimes, those old feelings creep back in.
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September 27, 2004

Many updates to give you

Many updates to give you but right now I'm exhausted.

A preview - last night saw me at Carnaval until 5am, where I met a new girl, a friend told another friend that she'd love to marry me, and the girl I was originally introduced to ended up making out with a girl that looked just like her.

For now, though, I must simply sleep.
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September 24, 2004

After a bit of shameless

After a bit of shameless pandering and begging, and an offer that involved either a chicken wrap or a smelly old guy, Katherine has been added to the blogroll.

Welcome, Katherine!
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September 23, 2004

Feeling nostalgia tonight. Nostalgia for

Feeling nostalgia tonight. Nostalgia for SouthernBelle who emailed me to tell me she'd quit friendster. Nostalgia from the woman in Rome I'd thought was my girlfriend, whom I later learned was my keeper. Nostalgia for The Buffalonian. Nostalgia for Princess.

I'm stupendously busy at work right now. The only woman that you've heard of that messages me is The Jaguar. Every day. Every night. If I don't respond, I get "are you avoiding me?" No nostalgia for her.

Some nostalgia for college - an idyllic time in a gated campus full of beautiful young liberals.

All nostalgia.

I'm working too hard again.
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A guy has dumped his

A guy has dumped his girlfriend using Powerpoint.

For the record:

A) That's the most chicken-hearted bullshit I've seen today;

B) If you read it, it's depressing, because I've seen so many relationships like it (including mine with TheEvilOne, and the end of my time with The Liberal); and

C) It follows a classic archetype of one person being indifferent and the other, obssessed, and mistaking obssession for something like love, and trying desparately to purchase the love of his "beloved" (see slide 10).

"Laura"

Use that powerpoint presentation as a how-to manual of what _not_ to do.

UPDATE: On Moxie's suggestion - this is an open invitation to the author of that website on some alternative methodologies to try that might work better for you in dating. Think of it as Roger Dodger in real life.

UPDATE: Not only is it down, but all that's in the Google Cache is Goatse
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September 22, 2004

One of the very cute

One of the very cute paralegals at my firm saw me in the hall talking to another attorney yesterday. As she walked by, my conversation ended, and we walked downstairs together. The only word exchanged?

"You smell like nachos, and you sound like Tom Cruise."

I had no idea what to make of that, so I make a theatrical shrug and laughed, saying "what the hell am I supposed to say to that" and having her laugh at my back.
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September 21, 2004

Please give a warm welcome

Please give a warm welcome to Alexa of A New York Escorts Confessions to my Blogroll.

(Via: Lola)
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September 20, 2004

Susan's Stripper Diary has been

Susan's Stripper Diary has been added to the Blogroll as has Postmodern Courtesan.

Belle has been removed, as she's defunct. Not de-funked like Rick James (Cocaine is a helluva drug) but gone like the snaggletoothed tiger.
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Got email from The Colombian

Got email from The Colombian (formerly FFF) today:

Funny thing you e-mailed. Was out to brunch yesterday with some people and amongst them was a friend of the Buffalonian's ( a girl you dated) and I thought that was hilariouse. Especially when I thought I saw you there all while smoking a cigarette outside and blurted out "that guy on roller blades looks like my friend BAD MAN and she's like WHAT? he daetd my friend! Six degrees baby! Six DEGREES.

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September 19, 2004

They say that power is

They say that power is the ultimate aphrodesiac.

Personally, women in skimpy clothing teaching me how to contact my elected officials and/or start an Issues Advocacy Group strikes me as way sexier. Check it out, over at Votergasm.
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Ivie wrote:A guy once told

Ivie wrote:

A guy once told me that I looked sexier than ever... well, I had come back from a morning run wearing a t shirt, sweats & a baseball cap... I had no make up on and was wearing sneakers... after that morning I knew my workouts were more meaningful...

hmm...wonder where he is now... I am wearing a
tank & boy shorts :-)

It's true. I think it has to do with relaxation. I remember seeing The Liberal all sweaty, in a sports bra, with her hair matted to her body from the sweat, huffing and puffing and out of breath after a long run on South Beach and thinking just exactly how much I wanted to pin her down and fuck her until she woke the neighbors.

The sexiest women I've been with are the ones who realize that to be sexy, almost all she has to do is show up and have a good attitude. In the moment, I'm not thinking "wow, look at that, your ass looks a little fat" or "wow, there's a little cellulite back here" or anything of the sort. I'm thinking "unh unh unh uuuunh oh god look at that sweet girl/body/ass/tits/face I'm gonna fuck her so good oh yeah."

Make-up and lingerie are for faking it. Not that I don't appreciate a little make-up or lingerie, but if you feel sexy from the inside out, you're sexy from the outside in. Usually. Ugly people excluded, sometimes, but one of my favorite playmates was someone who was definitely not a 10 (or even a 7) but what was sexy about her was that she was all sex. I remember her in Adidas track pants and a white tank top and thinking that while I didn't think she was beautiful, I thought she was hella sexy. We did some wild shit. Yum.
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I've returned to New York

I've returned to New York (and the insanity of considering billing 300 hour months until the New Year, leaving precious little time for anything else like... oh... sleep...) to find that Susan posted to my comments.

Who is Susan?

I haven't the faintest.

I remember when I had another blog, I used to go posting on every blog I could find so that the owner could see my link, read my site, and then link to me if he or she liked what he or she read. I'd always be topical and polite, but I never stayed for long.

I tried that again here with ErosBlog, but that worked... not at all. Must have seemed too whorish, and not in the good way. Alas.

Susan, however, piqued my interest by saying that, so far as cocks go, "Jewish men all the way. I have checked."

Note that A: she didn't check me and B: I have no idea if I'm big or small, I don't stand up next to guys and go "hey look, mine points up more than yours does and what's that big growth on yours?" I don't know if I've ever seen an erect cock that wasn't mine, live. I can't think of an instance. But I digress. I checked out Susan's site, because really, well, it's freezing up here in NYC and blogs are an indoor activity, and I read one of her posts and spit my tea on the screen. I like political humor.

Susan's Stripper Diary says:

I mainly just did lapdances for everyone the whole time, and the bodypaint, when one of the guests asked, 'Can we write 'John Kerry Sucks' on you?'

'Nope. I'm a registered Democrat. I'm a stripper (and under 40, and making under $250,000 a year, and a woman, and not in favor of a theocracy, etc.), it's against my best interests to vote Republican.'

Then he said, 'Do you want to be rich or do you want to be poor?'

As if that's the big issue here. I restrained myself, giggling. Whew. Don't get me wrong, I love Republicans because they hire me and buy dances (though Democrats are better tippers, go figure).


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September 18, 2004

Not to disappoint Victoria (of

Not to disappoint Victoria (of Victoria's Secret) but I think that the sexiest thing a woman can wear is her wear around the house sweatpants. I'm not a huge fan of lingerie (although I appreciate a nice ass in a thong) and I don't know why.

But a woman in sweatpants or whatever else she just kicks around in just seems so relaxed. So un-forced. So naturally sexy.

Give me a woman in sweatpants instead of a bustier any day of the week.
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September 17, 2004

I've been IMing with The

I've been IMing with The Jewlery Model and The Buffalonian today. The Jewlery Model has been giving me hell for avoiding her. The Buffalonian and I have just recently acheived rapproachment.

The Buffalonian has been sleeping with a minor (like, C-List) celeb lately, and it got me thinking:

How weird (but neat) it would be to do like, a family tree of who has been with who just to see who is how many degrees away from whom. Mind you - that'd be a useful feature for disease tracking, and probably should have been done as soon as it was discovered that HIV was an STD, but finding out which of my exes slept with celebs is more entertaining to think about.

It would also help avoid those uncomfortable situations where you're walking in Central Park with a friend of yours, and you run into one of your closest friends from college, and your exgirlfriend from when the two of you were close, only to later discover that they're engaged to be married. Or maybe that just happens to me.
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Belle De Jour has shuttered

Belle De Jour has shuttered her shop, and hung up her garters. Well, she may not have hung up her garters, but she's ceasing the writing-about-it process. She'll be missed, but then, if you've got a big ol' book deal, I'm sure it's much easier to walk away.

Blog for fun and get comments like the ones I've gotten and Eden gets, or blog until you get noticed and sell your book with a six figure advance? Hmm...

Six figures in pounds, too. You could say that I'm a little jealous.
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Among other things, I just

Among other things, I just discovered that I have a mole on my back that's changed size and shape (grown and gotten darker and atypical) since last time I had them checked. Which means that I'm going to have to have minor surgery to have it removed. Hopefully, that's all it is.
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Reader "Bubbles & Blossom" writes:Buttercup

Reader "Bubbles & Blossom" writes:

Buttercup and DTG: Why don't you guys just fuck Eric and get it over with already? It's absolutely revolting the way you all fawn over him and assist daily in supersizing his already gargantuan ego. Gross.
I'm not sure that I'd say either of them are fawning over me, and certainly, neither is having sex with me. Ladies, feel free to comment.

The only person I've had sex with lately was Princess, who I haven't seen in awhile, and recent attempts to contact have gone... less than well. There are reasons for that that are personal (and are my fault, not hers) and I won't get into them here, but know that since her, there's been nobody else. As you can read here.

And Eric: Why is EVERYTHING directly related to your penis? Must you bring it up in every conversation? Or is that just how you write it? (This last in reference to the following: That is NOT the way the conversation went and I DON'T remember anything about your penis, thank you very much.
Actually, I didn't bring it up, The Freshman did. She was talking about the guy she was dating, and not me. When I said Jewish men had big cocks, I was generally talking about her asshole exboyfriend, not myself. Not that I've ever heard any complaints, but I don't think any man has ever heard complaints. The women who complain either do so after the fact to puncture a man's ego (usually retaliatory) or don't do so to him or his friends. Either way. --------

September 15, 2004

L'Shana T'Tova to all of

L'Shana T'Tova to all of my readers. Happy New Year!
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September 14, 2004

The Freshman and I went

The Freshman and I went to a party on Saturday. She presented it as a "grown-ups" party, being ironic, and playing on the fact that I still call her The Freshman after dating her almost six years ago. Now she's in grad school, and I think she wants to hit me for calling her that.

We went to the party out in Park Slope, where the hostess, a pretty blond, living happily with her boyfriend, and both of them were around 30. A little while after we got to the party, The Freshman was complaining about the size of one of her fling's cocks, and I explained that it was because she wasn't dating a Jewish guy.

"Jews have big cocks. Not so big that they'll tear you up, but good sized. You remember mine. You remember your other boyfriend's."
"Yeah, but this guy is tall, and big. It's a shame when a guy isn't proportional."
"All I know is that Jews have big cocks."
She stuck her tongue out at me. She turned to our hostess and asked her what her opinion was. "Do Jews have big cocks?"
"Yes." Our hostess smiled mischeivously.
I laughed at The Freshman, sounding off like Nelson Muntz. The look in her eyes made clear that she wanted to take a swing at me. A good natured swing, but still.
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Sometimes, I pop up the

Sometimes, I pop up the blogger posting window, and create a post which has the title of the page that I was reading. That's how some posts get titled "Gmail" or "Instapundit" or "Comedians On The Political Campaign." When that happens and I notice, I go back and edit those titles without saying anything about it.

You may see multiple identical posts with different headers in your RSS reader. For that, I'm sorry.

Also, if you read via RSS, I'm curious as to your experience. Can you drop me an email? Tell me how it is, and that you're reading via RSS?

Thanks.
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September 7, 2004

Ran into a friend from

Ran into a friend from college on the street yesterday who works in production for one of the famous Reality TV shows. Hers is about renovating someone who needs help. Think: Queer Eye, but not.

When asked if I could be a contestant, she told me that I was too good looking. When asked if she would set me up with any of her Jewish girl friends for a date, she told me she couldn't think of any that would rather go on a date with me than pull out their own trachea.

UPDATE: Some context is missing here.

The conversation went as follows:

Her: Have you ever considered JDate?
Me: No, I don't date Jewish women.
Her: You racist.
Me: You should see my stance on Native Americans.
Her: Bastard. *she laughed*
Me: It's just that every time I go out on a date with a Jewish woman, I end up wanting to pull out my trachea before the end of the night.
Her: Maybe you only date psychos.
Me: Every Jewish woman since The Evil One that I've been with has the same characteristic - I go insane during our first date.
Her: You're just not finding the right ones.
Me: Ok, well, do you know any Jewish women I could date?
Her: None that wouldn't want to pull out her own trachea before the end of the night.

We laughed.

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Belle de Jour says:'I don't

Belle de Jour says:

'I don't miss him.' N gave me a doubtful look. 'I barely remember what he was like now. I miss the idea of him.' The idea that there is one person you fall in love with, one right person, and you will spend the rest of your lives - or a sizeable portion of them - together.
That about sums up my current feelings for SouthernBelle, who I thought that I'd seen at every turn on my rollerblade yesterday, The Liberal, who I did see for a few minutes a few weeks ago, and The Cuban, who I'm supposed to see sometime this week.

I don't miss them, I just miss the idea of them. That I'd finally found my partner and could settle down.

I spoke with CollegeCrush about falling in love and my newfound desire to get a girlfriend instead of tomcatting around, and she said "You get like this every six months. Chill out." Good point.
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September 4, 2004

Maybe it wasn't an Hubristic

Maybe it wasn't an Hubristic Correction.

It feels more like the 29 shift that I kept hearing about - things just suddenly change at 29 - perspective shifts, career kicks in, what have you.

I haven't written here in awhile because I've been in self enforced celibacy mode for two plus weeks. It's not going to stop this weekend, either, as I've fled New York City for the safe haven of my parents house, so that I can take care of some personal business.

It's odd. I have a friend who is a professional astrologer. She was syndicated and everything. She told me that this year was going to be big and a big turning point for me. I was skeptical, but now I'm not as much.

This professional thing I can't explain here, suffice it to say that it's big. As big as anything else in my career. This celibacy thing appears to be part of a larger shift in my life. Don't think it'll last long, but I'm not sure.

Maybe I'll ask my astrologer friend about this all when I see her on Tuesday.
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September 1, 2004

Things are going to be

Things are going to be quiet on the Western Front around here for awhile.

I've just been promoted at work. This will keep my life here a bit quieter, as I'll have even less time to devote to this place than I once did.
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