A Bad Man in a Bad Place

Bad Man is back.

Yesterday morning I screwed the Greyhound several times before brunch with Sid and The Fox, and then past evening I nailed the Lawyer. I used an exgirlriend's vibrator on the Greyhound (I used a clean never-used-before attachment, never fear) and I used to condoms that the Greyhound gave me on the Lawyer, and the Lawyer picked me up while wearing the Freshman's father's shirt.

Can we say... womanizer?

I told the Lawyer that I was a womanizer, and apparently, that's what set off her "must screw this guy I just met" bells. The more I tell women the truth, even when it's shocking, the more into me they seem to be. When I told the Greyhound I was staring at other girls during dinner, she initially was upset, but a few seconds later was scoping girls with me. She actually asked me if a certain friend of mine who likes girl would like to... meet her. When I told the Lawyer that story about the Greyhound, she was unsurprised, and when I told her I was a womanizer, it took about 15 minutes before she decided to ask me back to her place. I'm going to try this tactic, I'll report back.
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So far tonight Fatty Fat Fat and The Biter both were supposed to get together with me, and I cancelled on both b/c I was working. I also spotted the _other_ paralegal (the one that my buddy suggested I hook up with because she went to the college in whose neighborhood I live and seemed to be very adroit and pop culturally adept, which is shorthand for "you're both fucking smart, go fuck.")

Instead, I worked.

Because I love work.
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So, the Beauty met The Freshman and saw photos of the Cuban and said:
Wow, the Cuban is really pretty, but the way you interact with the freshman, you should marry her.

After we had a several hour long conversation about sex, and how she seduced me in order to shut me up because I looked, and I quote "so nervous I just was like 'look, shut up, let's make out.'" Fucked to calm me down. Wacky. What's next?

She suggested I keep the Freshman around for threesomes at least. And also hinted at me having a threesome with her new boy. I'm not sure I' m down for the four leaf clover. We'll see.
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Point taken.

The greyhound had the iq of a scarf. I'm not heartbroken. I'll miss the head, but I'm sure there are some YMBT readers out there who like to give hot guys head (and who aren't guys themselves...)

She was nice, but we had nothing to talk about. No more fuckbuddy. Boo hoo.

Good news is, it's a big city with LOTS of other chicks in it. purrr.
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Well, the greyhound is gone.

She read something I wrote about her on another site I write to, and emailed me a very succinct "dude, please do not ever call me again."

Fuck.

Back to the drawing board.

I was going to call her tonight, too.

She gave great head.

Damnitall.
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The Cuban, who is much on my mind these days, emailed.

Sometimes I wish I were slightly more bold.
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The greyhound called just now. At 10:45. To complain about work.

First of all, I'm still _AT_ work.

Second of all, we're fucking, not dating.

Third of all, she proves beyond a reasonable doubt that beauty doth not necessarily equate to brilliance.
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Holy shit.

I have hit porn saturation. I am now able to watch porn and not get excited at all.

Spacebaby pointed out that it's probably because I've got a beautiful girl willing to come over and blow me at the drop of a phone call.

I disagree. I usually _like porn_ at least, much less am addicted to it.

Ever been addicted to something and suddenly you hit saturation and are like "Oh my god disgusting?"

Happened to me with Wild Turkey. Now, it's happened with Porn. FUUUUCK.

Comment, here, please, if you've ever had that happen to you. Addicted to something and then suddenly one minute yes, next minute it makes you repulsed.
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To answer the question, apparently however many days I want to wait is irrelevant. She's taken to calling me.

So, how does this work. The Greyhound calls me at 3:30 to say lets get together. I've got plans with the Biter at 8, which, when I call The Greyhound back at 7:15, I warn her of, except that I've had no luck getting the Biter to call me back. The Greyhound says to call her later.

I then call Sid, because wasted as I am, I think there's a party we're both supposed to be at. I'm wrong.

I call the Greyhound _back_ at 10:45, drunk as fuck, and she says meet me at the square, which is like a mile from me. I go to the square and meet her and she calls me and tells me she'd rather be in my neighborhood.

We go to two bars, neither of which are her speed. And then out blurts "Want to go get wasted and make out?"

I'm a fuckbuddy.

Cool.
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With a fuckbuddy (The Greyhound) coming over on Friday night and then Tuesday night, and commenting on Tuesday that she didn't think she'd see you again so soo, what is the minimum amount of time I have to wait before calling her again so she doesn't think that I'm trying to girlfriendize her? I'm not. I like to fuck her. That is all.
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Many thoughts, please feel free to share your take on them.

1) Exgirlfriends should either die or be otherwise summarily removed from reality. This could be as simple as wiping your memory of them to as complicated as a car accident. Further, exgirlfriends are _not_ allowed to be happy with their lives, sorry they hurt you, or want to see you. Nor are they allowed to be successful, as beautiful as you remember, or feel like home when you touch them. Got it??

2) White people, except eminem, are not allowed to use the word-cell "izzle" No shizzle, nizzle, bizzle or pizzle. Got it, you white fucks?

3) Big asses are a good thing.

4) The paralegal and I had a conversation that lasted about 20 minutes about rollerblading. It would have been a minute, but she was peppering me with questions. She had to leave because her father honked the horn at her. I felt old and dirty and perverted. She started it with "wow, you look well rested" and halfway through there was "Were you working Friday? No? I missed you at the Paralegal's going away party. You must come to the next one." I'm sure I'm reading into things here.

5) Rollerblades + New York City + wasted = Awesome

6) The Jaguar looks just like the Cuban if The Cuban was an Elite model instead of curvy like a Cuban. (Built like a greyhound instead of a golden retreiver) The Jaguar also said to me "When I look at you, I sorta see someone else I once knew." I kept my mouth shut.

7) When your dad figures out instant message, most of the fun disappears.

8) I'm stil broken, fucking the Jaguar hasn't assuaged my desire for The Cuban.

9) The Biter and I had dinner on Saturday night. Quote of the evening was "I know my not-boyfriend is coming over to my place at 12:30. It's now 11. Let's go to your place and you can tie me up."

10) The Advertising Exec and I had a date tonight that went well, but something in my stomache wouldn't let me close the deal. Not sure what, but it didn't feel right. She left looking disappointed.

11) The Jaguar also said "Anytime you want sex, just call me" which I took as a pretty good sign.

There's probably more, but I'm wasted as fuck.
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Two things - one work one women.

I was just asked by my boss to speak to some dude. He was wearing sunglasses like mine. Showed him my sunglasses. Dude goes
"You wear those indoors? In clubs? When you ask girls to dance?"
"When I sleaze up on women? Sure."
"Sleaze?"
"Dance."
"Roll" (said bosses girlfriend)
"Man I feel old" said the dude.

The dude is the hiring partner at the firm.
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I just emailed the Cuban. She emailed me back. We chatted a bit. I miss her fiercely.

Kissgirl can't get together this weekend. The Stranger blew me off yesterday. The Biter yelled at me on Tuesday that she had papers to write, I should stop being so enticing.

I need to write more about these ladies. The Cuban, man. She's got my heart. I saw the email from her and my heart skipped a beat. Crazy.
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So, if I told you that I spent last night with "The Jaguar" who looks just like the Cuban, only with prettier eyes and blonde hair, but not as nice a smile would you laugh?

What if I said that I also got the massage and a pretty amazing deep throaty blowjob that I've been aiming at, before having a raucus bout of scare the neighbors sex?

I knew the night was going well when, after she leaned in to kiss me, she explained "I want to get to know you... sexually."

I'm feeling less broken.
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